Bad Blog Mama

I'm so neglectful of my blog. I really should update more, but I'm so damn lazy about it. Here, have a picture:

This is Otis next on the windowsill right here. He's a very handsome and lovable cat and I like him very much. He was photographed with my apparently awesome camera in my pitch-black and very messy bedroom. I was impressed.

Meh

Well, I was going to write and write and write until my little fingers fell off. I began this blog several times, and yet got nothing I really wanted to share with the entire internet. It started getting a wee bit too personal every time, so I decided to say to hell with it all and just write nothing of any consequence. I'm sooo terribly interesting.

Sleepless

Sometimes I hate my brain. Now is one of those times. I have an odd tendency to fixate on things...things that were, things that are and things that have not yet come to pass. Most of the time, the subject of my fixation is something completely out of my control. And yet I fixate and subsequently lose sleep because my brain won't shut up for the five minutes I need to get to dream land. I've been told I'm a very complicated woman (and yes, I did take it as an insult).

In Which the Blogger Returns

Yeah, it's been awhile. Whatev.

Random Thursday: I got a message today that John Doe* has requested me as a friend on my Facebook page. I had an idea who it was when I clicked the link and damned if I wasn't right. It was this kid (and by kid I just mean person...dude's my age) who friended me on MySpace, like, two years ago. We chatted and such, strictly online friendship, and eventually it got to where we didn't have a whole lot to say. Add to the mix the fact that I was doing more with my free time and online less and the chatting waned even more. So, dude started getting pissy with me because I had a life that wasn't online and told me that if I wanted to stay friends with him, I had to chat more and comment on his page and all this other shit or he'd delete me from his list. Of course, I was just devastated**, but for some reason I didn't take his threats seriously. Thus, I was booted from the list and never heard from him again. Until today*** when I got the message that he requested me on Facebook. Now what I'm wondering is: Why the hell would you friend someone you de-friended two years ago for lack of interest? What's the point? What makes you think that, after being rude and overly demanding of an online friendship two years ago, I would have any interest whatsoever in being friends again? Seriously, are you daft, man?****

*Name changed for spelling reasons, as in I can't spell his name. Oh, and for privacy because I'm just that nice.
**Not really, that was sarcasm.
***Technically it was yesterday, as this was before the clock struck midnight.
****I'm not kidding, I really wanna know.

The Perils of Baby Talk and Other Public Service Announcements

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed some things in my normal, everyday dealings that have left me either annoyed as all hell or scratching my head in bewilderment. Here are just a few examples of the nonsense I see on a daily basis:

1) Parents, please for the love of the god I don't believe in, STOP SPEAKING TO YOUR KIDS IN BABY TALK AFTER AGE 6 MONTHS!!!!!! If you don't, you'll end up having a kid with a completely avoidable speech impediment because you thought it was just so cutesy-wootsey to talky-walky like thissy-wissy. Here's a thought: If your kid is 8 years old, he shouldn't sound like he's 3.

2) There is no such thing as a size 24W skinny-fit jean, no matter what the tag might say. Embrace your curves, big girls, wear clothing that fits properly and dress to IMPRESS!!!

3) On a similar note: There is a very specific body type that looks good in a very high-waisted pant and that body type typically isn't over a size 4.

4) Ladies, please stop hovering over the toilet in public restrooms, especially if you have absolutely no intention of cleaning up the mess you will inevitably leave because women simply weren't built to pee while standing. The seat liners are there for a reason...USE THEM!

5) Seasonal business owners, if your business is not open until July 21, please either remove the sign displaying your business hours (implying the business is indeed open) or add a sign indicating when those business hours take effect. With gas prices as high as they are, help people save themselves the extra trip.

6) Another one to parents: If you want little Johnny to end up getting scraped off the grill of some gas-guzzling SUV, by all means, continue to let him play on his bike in the middle of the street. On the other hand, if you'd like him to see his 10th birthday and eventually reach adulthood, tell him that rush hour traffic is NOT the place for him to pretend he's a BMX star.

And finally:

7) If you're not friends with someone on a personal, non-business level, DO NOT ASK HIM OR HER PERSONAL QUESTIONS YOU HAVE NO RIGHT OR BUSINESS ASKING. Crossing boundaries is NOT cool.

This concludes today's PSA presentation. Thanks so much for reading.

Thought of the Day

OK, today I received the new issue of Glamour (which I never read and didn't subscribe to, yet somehow get issues every month) and I have to say I hate the cover. I mean seriously, Christina Aguilera's hair looks like the product of a six-year-old's foray into the glamorous and exciting world of Play Doh barber shop hair styling. Neither the color, nor the texture of her hair on that cover occur anywhere in the natural world. I just don't understand...her face looks beautiful, her clothes are casual but classy, yet her hair appears to know the intimate details of all the bleaches available at the local Sally Beauty Supply. I'd like to tell her stylist to back off the peroxide or else I'll cite him/her for follicular homicide. That's all.

Cutness

The world's cutest nephews, Anthony and Noah, looking intently at whatever was on the television. I miss them so much and wish that I could see them every day. They are growing up way too fast and I would love it if they would stay this little for just a bit longer. Too bad they don't seem to want to oblige their dear Aunt Manda and instead they just keep growing and getting bigger. I suppose, though, no matter how big they get, they'll always be my little noodles.