Thursday, April 05, 2007

This Makes Me Wonder...

I recently found out that an ex of mine just got dumped by the girl he dated after me. I assume she dumped him because she's a smart girl and probably (after almost two years of him pretending he's a nice guy) figured out that he's a piece of shit who doesn't deserve someone as nifty as she is. I also assume she's nifty based solely on her MySpace profile, as I have never met her in person. Now, early in January, he paid me a visit after not speaking to me for a year and a half. He'd seen my profile in August and that triggered a huge, four month fight between the two of them, where she brought up valid points and he refused to see them, culminating in her telling him that he needed to have a talk with me "to get closure" before they could proceed in the relationship. He came, we talked, he was a dick, I was calm and wasn't horrible. Before he left, I told him that if he felt like they were going to break up not to let it get to the bitter resentment stage before it happened (because that's not good for anyone involved). He said that he didn't think there would be anymore issues like this one and that they'd be stronger than ever. He gave me his contact information, as if to try to be friends again and left. I emailed him a couple of days later, and he told me he was just being polite by giving me his information and that he didn't really want to have anymore contact with me. Whatever, he always was a dick.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago. I was reading a friend's blog and found the girlfriend posted a comment. Turns out the blog writer is a mutual friend. The blog involved relationships and the comment indicated that she was somewhat in relationship woe and wanted to find someone worthy of her. So I went to her profile and saw that she'd removed almost every trace of my ex from her profile. Seems that my ex is now her ex. I thought to myself "Yes! It's about time she realized she's too good for him." Now, I feel bad that she's going through the pain of ending a relationship, but I can't help but feel a small amount of satisfaction. That smug bastard acted as if our relationship meant absolutely nothing compared to the "perfection" he shared with her, and now it's come back to bite him.

What I'm wondering is: Does this make me an awful person? I'm trying very hard not to be happy about this, but it's been hard. I think I'm more happy about her valuing herself and what she needs more than a relationship in which her needs are not being met. I'm trying to be more happy about that than I am about him finally getting his karmic retribution for the way he treated me for six months after we broke up (I'm trying very hard to keep these feelings in check because karma is a funny creature and will pop up wherever it wants to and screw up whatever it I'm trying to be happier for her self-respect than I am for my own satisfaction). I don't know. I feel very ambivalent about this and it probably won't be resolved any time soon.

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