Filed Under: What the Hell?

After getting home from work today, I found in the mail a letter from some organization called Biltmore Who's Who. Upon reading the letter, I learned it pertained to placing me on some registry list for a Who's Who Among Executives and Professional Women and 2008 Honors Edition. Apparently the "Publishing Committee" (and yes, that ridiculously vague term was used) thinks that I have potential to be on their registry list based on my "current standing as well as criteria from executive and professional rosters." Hmm...I wonder what the hell gave them the idea that I was a professional or executive. I mean, hell, I work in retail...you can't get much less executive than that.

$10.5 Million and I Turned It Down

Yeah, so this random dude hit on me while I was at work today. He looked fairly average for the Elmira/Horseheads area. First, he asked where he could find some dress pants and flashed his two fifties. As I walked him to the area he needed, we happened upon some Fox Racing shirts...he piped up that he used to race for them. We got to the dress pants and he saw some of our prices and was so impressed that he declared "I'm bringing my $10.5 million here to spend it." Then he thanked me and complimented me on my nice customer service as I walked to my co-worker, who had beckoned me to where she was to taste this bottled tea she had. I thought it was tasty and my wannabe-paramour asked where my co-worker got it and rushed off to go get one for me. I, however, didn't want to encourage the fellow and politely declined the offer. Now, I can't say that I get hit on very often, but I can say that this was the oddest occurrance of a man hitting on me that I've ever experienced. Also, while it was a thinly-veiled attempt to impress me, I have to give the dude credit for maintaining his composure even after his story got really, REALLY ridiculous.

Hell Finally Froze Over...

...because I really got into a football game. I HATE football, and yet the last few minutes of the last quarter of the stupid Super Bowl had me on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen. I still can't believe how I ended up getting into it that much, though. Weird.

Glad It Ended Before the Pain of Prom

Choosing to abandon my previously mentioned preference for blogging at night, I had to write this morning so I wouldn't lose the rather odd dream I had last night. I was dreaming about school. For some reason I was still in high school, yet taking college courses in this dream, making me a student who is nearly 30 and still in high school. I went to my homeroom twice and was late both times, so my teacher (who was, like, 3 years younger than I am) gave me tardy slips and told me I had to go to the office because I was going to get detention for being late two times in a row and all I wanted to do was finish the math homework I hadn't done the night before. I was trying to bargain with her about the detention thing and was getting somewhere when my alarm clock went off, cutting the strange dream off. I'm rather thankful for the alarm because I was starting to feel the awkwardness of being a high school student, with the added awkwardness of being an adult among children who looked at me as if I were stupid for being in high school at my age. And I just noticed that the look and feel of the word "awkward" is rather fitting, as it is an odd word to both look at and type.

Crazy Folk

Sometimes, you see the weirdest things when you work in retail. Today at job #1, I saw a customer who was proudly wearing a trucker cap that proclaimed "it ain't gonna lick itself," which I found quite charming as I tried to understand him and he tried to hear me. I'm not entirely sure if he and his woman (or possibly mom, who knows...with the age difference was difficult to tell) were from around here. It was a colorful experience to say the least. Then, I saw the fairly pretty and decently put-together girl who had the mile long toenails. I think she was trying to be like Howard Hughes or something. It looked like she even had them filed to sharp lil points. Creepy. And finally, there was the old fella who said to me (after I asked him how he was doing) "everyone I can get my hands on and you're next." All I can guess is that he thought I asked "who" he was doing and not "how" he was doing. I tell ya, shit like this certainly keeps it interesting.

Hmmm...

Naked Britney giving birth on a bearskin rug...at first when I saw pics of this statue floating around on the internet, I thought "Oh dear sweet Jesus, what has she done now?" But then I read the press releases about this and thought "These people must be f-ing delusional if they think that's what a woman looks like (all serene and sexy and not at all bloated and in pain) when they're giving birth." Quite the statue, that one is. Yikes!!! Sure, I understand the whole pro-life stance of said statue, but for the love of God, did they have to make one of her on all fours sticking her ass in the air like she's presenting? And didn't they realize that their representation of Brit's labor would be nit-picked to hell, seeing as she really had a C-section? I personally think it would've been much more tasteful if the designers/makers of this statue would've sculpted something just a little bit more, oh I don't know, pre-labor. You know, maybe kind of in the same vein as Demi's Vanity Fair cover, naked, pregnant and a bit more tasteful. Show the beauty of Brit's pregnancy to the world rather than making her look like she's trying to seduce the doctor while Sean Preston's crowning. I mean, eww!