A Letter...

Dear Idiot Drivers Who Pissed Me Off Today,

I know that rush hour traffic can be tiresome and a total bother.* I know that we all just want to get to our respective homes, eat dinner and relax. However, that doesn't excuse your total lack of respect for other drivers. In particular, Ms. Ford Explorer, you needn't have tailgated me from Horseheads all the way to the Elmira exit when I was already going nearly 80 MPH. Seriously, do you really need to go any faster than that on the highway? It's not as if I was lane-clogging, and you could have gotten around me with great ease had you applied yourself. But no, you waited for me to shift lanes and then buzzed on by. Why you couldn't use your signal and press your foot more firmly on the accelerator is beyond me, but perhaps you could keep that in mind for next time.

This brings us to Mr. Ford Explorer (Eddie Bauer edition).** I was totally prepared to chastise you for your lack of awareness of the green arrow lighting up. Then I realized that the light had turned red and you legitimately thought you had to wait, not knowing that the Traffic Gods would smile upon the intersection and give us left-turning people a wonderful green arrow. So I'll forgive you for making the line of traffic wait a few extra seconds while you were doing whatever it was you were doing while thinking you had to wait. I will, however, yell at the jackass who waited all of 3 seconds before he decided to lay on his horn to alert everyone that we were waiting. Dude, you were, like, 5 cars behind me...you wouldn't have had the arrow even if Mr. Ford Explorer (Eddie Bauer edition) had hit the gas the second the arrow lit up. Relax man, relax.

But seriously, kids, have some freakin' patience. It's only driving.

Thanks,
Minxy

*In all honesty, the "rush hour traffic" of which I speak is not very heavy at all. I mean, it's Rt 17...it only gets really bad at Christmas and even that's nothing compared to your basic, everyday traffic in a big city.

**Yeah, total coincidence that both vehicles of note were Explorers...must've been a Ford kind of day.

Apparently, I'm Unhappy

While I was waiting for a manager to unlock a door so I could put my work equipment away, I stood near the door chatting with a co-worker/kinda friend. He commented that as I was rolling my equipment cart to the room, I looked like something was wrong. Really, I was just tired and not enjoying how loud my cart is when in motion. We chitchatted for a few minutes when he said some smart-ass comment that prompted me to jokingly stick my tongue out at him. To that he randomly said, "you need a date." When I asked why, he told me that he thinks I'd be happier if I had someone to date. I told him that I didn't need a man to make me happy and he said "yeah, but having a toy could make you happier." So in a roundabout sort of way, my co-worker/kinda friend told me that I need to get laid. He was mildly shocked when I told him that I didn't want someone just to screw around with, as if I'm supposed to just go out and drop my panties for anyone just so I can get laid and "be happy." Whatever.

Grumble Grumble

It really drives me nuts when people act superior to me because they have children and I don't. It also drives me nuts when people who have children act like I don't know what hard times are like because I don't have children. I hate it when I make a point about something and someone says "yeah, but you don't have kids" as if my not having kids invalidates my point in any way. I am annoyed to no end when I'm left out of an entire conversation because the other participants feel the need to center the subject around what their kids did the day before. I'm really bothered by the fact that people treat me like I'm completely clueless about life because I didn't get knocked up before I was old enough to drink legally. I went to college instead, not that it counts for anything to all the people my age who have reproduced. And my question to them is: What's so bad about being responsible and waiting until the right time to have children, and why does this deem me inferior to those of you who have different fathers for all of your kids? GRRRR!!!!

Slacker

Yes, I'm a total slacker. I never blogged last night. I was way too tired to even think, let alone write. Oh well...I'm sure the internet did fine without me.

I'm rather annoyed right now. I've been reading a book (which will remain nameless) for nearly a month now. Normally, it does not take me this long to read a book unless it's uninteresting, exceedingly long or I have no time to read other than a minute or two here and there. This book is fairly short, fairly interesting and I've had enough time that I should've finished it by now. The problem I'm having with this book is twofold: First, I really want to start reading the book my friend gave me for Christmas; second, while the book is interesting, it strays far off its proposed topic. It's a non-fiction book concerning Eastern philosophy. I'm intrigued by Eastern philosophical ideas (namely Taoism) and thought it would be a good book to get my feet wet, as it were. However, instead of focusing on Taoism, the author uses the book as a soapbox from which he spews forth his own socio-ecological-political philosophies and beliefs. I don't mind reading that type of material, but for the love of all that is holy the man needed to NOT write it under the ruse of Taoist ideas. In the beginning of the book, the principles mentioned and examples used did mesh rather well. Yet less than a third of the way through, the author started going so far off-topic with whatever aspect of the human race that was pissing him off at the moment that it made little to no sense when he finally did circle back to the subject of the chapter. I mean really, if I'd wanted to hear about how the government sucks or how we're raping the natural world, etc., I'd talk to some of my neo-hippie friends or go to Ithaca or something. I really wanted to read a book that would help introduce me to Taoism, not a 257-page rant about how much the Republican administration of the eighties and early nineties sucked....TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!!! I guess I'm going to have to find something else to slake my learning thirst.

More Eventful Than Yesterday

This morning was interesting. I got up at the normal time, did my normal morning activities, went out to my car and there it was--a nearly flat tire. Eep! Luckily, my uncle was over at the garage he and my dad share (and in which an air compressor resides). So, I very slowly drove over the snow- and ice-covered driveway to the garage and asked my dear uncle to save me. He laughingly obliged, slightly over-filling my tire so that I could make it to work. I thanked him profusely and was on my merry way.

Things were going great until after I had turned onto Clemens Center Parkway. For those not familiar with the parkway, it is a four-lane roadway that cuts through Elmira. One can get almost anywhere in the greater Elmira area via the parkway. My destination from the parkway was, as it is every day, the highway. I had turned onto the parkway and was going along in the right hand lane and was nearing the traffic light on Cedar Street. Suddenly, this woman in a silver-ish Nissan starts veering from the left hand lane into my lane. The bitch didn't even bother to look and see if anyone was in the lane before she changed lanes and nearly side-swiped my car. Had my reflexes not been so quick, I'd probably be in the hospital right now because the back end of her car would've hit directly on my driver side door. So I beeped my horn, flipped her off and mouthed the words "learn how to fucking drive, bitch," which she saw because she kept looking in her rear view to see my reaction. Then, after witnessing my reaction to her piss-poor driving, she had the nerve to give me dirty looks. She acted like I was the person driving like an ass and she seemed more annoyed with me than I was with her. I mean really, do you think it's appropriate for a person to get more annoyed with someone else's reaction when you've just nearly totalled their car because you were too busy not paying attention to notice a whole entire vehicle in the other lane than the person who was nearly hurt in the first place? I don't think so. Well, I got past her after the light and again went on my merry way until I realized that the bitch was following me. Oh great, now I had to deal with an idiot road-rager on the way to work. Happily, when I arrived at my destination (the highway), she managed to (safely) get into the left hand lane and went ahead of me. Well, she was keeping pace with one of the more irritatingly slow vehicles in my lane as if to stick it to me by being a lane-clogger. Whatever, she was ahead of me and I didn't have to worry about her rear-ending me or trying to run me off the road. I got to work a few minutes late (due to flat tires and lane-cloggers), but I was happy to be in one piece.

Work was work. It was about the same as yesterday, only time seemed to move more slowly today. I called my very awesome dad shortly after I got there to inform him of the issue with my tire. He told me to drop it off at his workplace and swap vehicles, or call him if my tire was flat again. Finally, 5:00 rolled around and I was able to clock out and go home. Yeah, I wasn't quite as able as I thought because the tire was FLAT AGAIN!!!!! Goddamn! I called Dad again and about 40 minutes later, I was rescued for the second time today. Dad brought a portable air compressor thing and filled my tire enough so he could take the car back with him and fix my tire. I took his big truck and finally got home an hour and a half after I clocked out of work. I'm not complaining about being home so late from work, though. My dad's going to be later than normal because of my stupid tire. And because he's the best, coolest dad in the entire universe. I'm really lucky to have such a handy father who loves me so much.

That was my day.

This Makes Me Wonder...

I recently found out that an ex of mine just got dumped by the girl he dated after me. I assume she dumped him because she's a smart girl and probably (after almost two years of him pretending he's a nice guy) figured out that he's a piece of shit who doesn't deserve someone as nifty as she is. I also assume she's nifty based solely on her MySpace profile, as I have never met her in person. Now, early in January, he paid me a visit after not speaking to me for a year and a half. He'd seen my profile in August and that triggered a huge, four month fight between the two of them, where she brought up valid points and he refused to see them, culminating in her telling him that he needed to have a talk with me "to get closure" before they could proceed in the relationship. He came, we talked, he was a dick, I was calm and rational...it wasn't horrible. Before he left, I told him that if he felt like they were going to break up not to let it get to the bitter resentment stage before it happened (because that's not good for anyone involved). He said that he didn't think there would be anymore issues like this one and that they'd be stronger than ever. He gave me his contact information, as if to try to be friends again and left. I emailed him a couple of days later, and he told me he was just being polite by giving me his information and that he didn't really want to have anymore contact with me. Whatever, he always was a dick.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago. I was reading a friend's blog and found the girlfriend posted a comment. Turns out the blog writer is a mutual friend. The blog involved relationships and the comment indicated that she was somewhat in relationship woe and wanted to find someone worthy of her. So I went to her profile and saw that she'd removed almost every trace of my ex from her profile. Seems that my ex is now her ex. I thought to myself "Yes! It's about time she realized she's too good for him." Now, I feel bad that she's going through the pain of ending a relationship, but I can't help but feel a small amount of satisfaction. That smug bastard acted as if our relationship meant absolutely nothing compared to the "perfection" he shared with her, and now it's come back to bite him.

What I'm wondering is: Does this make me an awful person? I'm trying very hard not to be happy about this, but it's been hard. I think I'm more happy about her valuing herself and what she needs more than a relationship in which her needs are not being met. I'm trying to be more happy about that than I am about him finally getting his karmic retribution for the way he treated me for six months after we broke up (I'm trying very hard to keep these feelings in check because karma is a funny creature and will pop up wherever it wants to and screw up whatever it wants...so I'm trying to be happier for her self-respect than I am for my own satisfaction). I don't know. I feel very ambivalent about this and it probably won't be resolved any time soon.

Honest About Being A Misanthrope

Yeah, I've decided I really don't like people...mostly just in general, but some in particular as well. I'm getting really tired of disrespectful assholes that seem to just materialize out of thin air. I hate a certain individual, who shall remain nameless, because he's really nasty to me half the time and the other half I just can't seem to do anything right in his opinion. As if I don't already have enough of an inferiority complex, this stuff makes it worse. Nitwits, all of them!

My Ears Are Bleeding

I really hate that Clorox Bleach Pen commercial...you know, the one with Kelly Ripa and her awful, awful singing. That woman drives me nuts. I mean, I don't really understand the appeal of Ms. Ripa. She's obnoxious, only moderately attractive and can't act her way out of a paper bag. Every time I've seen her, she seems to make it a point to perpetuate the "dumb blonde" stereotype (or maybe she truly is a dumb blonde, in which case she needs to go learn something already). But enough is enough! Someone fire her and get her off the air...PLEASE!!!

Doormat No More

Sounds like some kind of spray to rid oneself of errant doormats, doesn't it? Well, I have no errant doormats that I know of. It's more in reference to the fact that I'm tired of how so many people in my life seem to think that I have to have their opinions. Or that I should bend to their will. Screw that! No, no more!

Every day, I'm bombarded with people trying to force their opinions on me. You read correctly, opinions, not beliefs, OPINIONS (which I just noticed that if you take the "p" and first "I" out of, you're left with ONIONS...stinky). People make it their routine to get others to "side" with what they think to be true. I also have a lot of people presenting false information to me as truth, but that's a whole other blog right there. Is everyone permitted to have an opinion? Of course they are. But is being allowed an opinion automatic permission to attempt to make others have the same exact one? No freakin way. Express it and get over it. Don't stand there telling me the same smack-talk over and over again trying to get me to like this or not like that all while assuming that we have the same thought on something, 'cause I can guarantee you that ninety percent of the time, we won't. Which is a nice segue into the wanna-bend-me-to-their-will part.

Here's a story.

I was recently verbally attacked twice by someone who decided it was their business to chime in on a private conversation I was having with someone else. (For the sake of efficiency, the person in question will be referred to in the masculine form.) I stated some opinions about someone else and also said that this someone else shouldn't advocate going against the rules. I wasn't being judgmental, I was stating facts. Well, he overheard the last couple of words of the conversation (the factual part about not breaking rules) and then tried to chew me out about it. The basic gist of the attacks was that this person wanted to assert his self-righteous conviction that whatever he said was right and I was wrong. The goal was to make me feel guilty and ashamed over what I was saying to the other person and to show to the world that I'm a bad person for my own opinions and assertions (which if he had heard the entire conversation, he would've been aware that they were indeed two different things). I was commanded to not pass judgment on people he knows, even though I hadn't. Now, if he had any concept of the English language, he would've known that passing judgment and stating an opinions and facts are not the same thing. Judgment implies one making a declaration of right/wrong and saying one should be praised/punished for the right/wrongdoing. I handled it quietly and didn't bend, which is actually a good thing for me. The point is, was the conversation any of their business? NO!! Did they think it was? YES. Why is that, I wonder? Why do people think that if they happen to overhear something that has nothing whatsoever to do with them, then they have the right to say and/or do whatever they want in response? Also, why do they think that I have to bow to their attack? Why do so many people think that others don't have (or aren't entitled to) a mind of their own?

I realize that's a lot of questions all in a row, but this shit's been bugging me for some time. In my daily routine, it's so easy to get sucked into other people's drama and/or mindsets and I'm so incredibly tired of it. So this is my declaration of reclamation of the Minx. I will no longer be intimidated by small people who use stupid, low tactics in a ridiculous attempt to empower themselves. I will no longer allow people to believe that I will assume their opinions instead of having my own. I will not bend and I will not break. My back will be as if I have a steel spine. My mind will be MY OWN. If anyone doesn't like that proposal, you can fuck off asshole, because it's non-negotiable.

Rude People = Evil!!!

(After re-reading this, I realize that some of what I say could be considered rude and mean, but I don't care. I'm pissed, dammit!)

So I went to one of my favorite, FAVORITE blogs yesterday and I found something to comment on, so I emailed them (as comments are disabled on that site). Perfectly innocent email, with no ill will behind it. Well, I was greeted today with an incredibly rude email back from that site. It was a one-liner, but it was so nasty in tone that I was like, "what the fuck?!?" and almost shot back an equally wicked message back to them. But I didn't because I've been conditioned my whole life to believe that getting mad is a cardinal sin. I also saw no point in starting an email war with someone I don't even know outside of that blog. It's not like I'd get any real satisfaction out of it. Well, I re-read my message and I could see where someone who has little intelligence and even less sense of nuance could construe it as something mildly offensive (but not the apparent personal attack it was taken as...there's no way in HELL that it could be taken as an attack). So, being that I've been conditioned not only to not get mad, but to assume guilt that isn't mine, the autopilot in my brain told me to send an explanatory message back. I did and also said that I meant no offense or rudeness and even apologized if it seemed that way to them. I haven't heard back, since I just sent it, but I'm sure I'll get yet another rude response. After the autopilot kicked off, I found myself wondering why I should even care about what some twit across the country thinks of what I say? It's not like she was commenting on my meager blog and said something rude, she was just rude in retaliation to my rude-only-if-you-twist-it-all-to-hell comment. So why am I so irritated by this?

After pondering this for a few minutes, I realized why it is that I'm annoyed. I find it incredibly bold of someone to get so rude to a person whom they don't even know. I also find it incredibly base and without manners. But mostly, I find that it shows a profound lack of character. Honestly, what kind of person must you be to lash out at a complete stranger? What makes you so special that you have the right to be a bitch to everyone who crosses your path? Do you not realize that there is another human being on the other side of that remark?It's not just this one person who sent me the email, no. It's happening everywhere, online and off. It's become so commonplace that the bulk of the population seems to be constantly mean and rude. Have we become a society that celebrates being mean to each other and acting as if some people are better than others? Is this the norm now? It seems so, and that nice, considerate people are the freaks.

I'm at a loss. I try to be nice and at the very least civil to people I come in contact with. Most of the time I do pretty well, too. No, I'm not always in the best mood, but at least I try. And I know there are a lot of people who are very good to everyone they come across. I work with several of them, so I KNOW that nice people exist. But I fear that the balance between consideration and rudeness is surely tipping away from good side. I witness this every day at work, as I am employed in the wonderful world of retail. It never ceases to amaze me the number of people who think that because they're on the other side of the service counter, they're automatically better than I am. They then think this gives them the right to be as nasty to me as they possibly can. And since I work for a company who stresses customer service above all else (which I'm not criticizing in any way, shape or form), I've been molded to be nice no matter how badly I'm treated. I do this, most of the time, and if I can't be nice, I try to at least be neutral (unless there's a particularly belligerent customer, in which case sometimes I use the same tone...I'm not proud of this, but people don't realize how hurtful they are). So why can't other people do this? What makes it so hard to be nice?

So this is why I'm currently pissed off. I probably shouldn't be and I'll probably have people telling me not to take it personally or that I shouldn't care so much. Maybe I shouldn't. But I do care. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it's because I'm fed up with nice people being verbal punching bags. Maybe it's because I think people should treat each other with some decency, 'cause we're all in it together, people. Or maybe it's because I believe that no one should have the right to act as if they're better than others by belittling them, whether in person or online. Who knows? What I do know for certain that no one deserves to be treated like shit, whether it's in their real life or their online one. There's no excuse for that.