Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Letter...

Dear Idiot Drivers Who Pissed Me Off Today,

I know that rush hour traffic can be tiresome and a total bother.* I know that we all just want to get to our respective homes, eat dinner and relax. However, that doesn't excuse your total lack of respect for other drivers. In particular, Ms. Ford Explorer, you needn't have tailgated me from Horseheads all the way to the Elmira exit when I was already going nearly 80 MPH. Seriously, do you really need to go any faster than that on the highway? It's not as if I was lane-clogging, and you could have gotten around me with great ease had you applied yourself. But no, you waited for me to shift lanes and then buzzed on by. Why you couldn't use your signal and press your foot more firmly on the accelerator is beyond me, but perhaps you could keep that in mind for next time.

This brings us to Mr. Ford Explorer (Eddie Bauer edition).** I was totally prepared to chastise you for your lack of awareness of the green arrow lighting up. Then I realized that the light had turned red and you legitimately thought you had to wait, not knowing that the Traffic Gods would smile upon the intersection and give us left-turning people a wonderful green arrow. So I'll forgive you for making the line of traffic wait a few extra seconds while you were doing whatever it was you were doing while thinking you had to wait. I will, however, yell at the jackass who waited all of 3 seconds before he decided to lay on his horn to alert everyone that we were waiting. Dude, you were, like, 5 cars behind me...you wouldn't have had the arrow even if Mr. Ford Explorer (Eddie Bauer edition) had hit the gas the second the arrow lit up. Relax man, relax.

But seriously, kids, have some freakin' patience. It's only driving.


*In all honesty, the "rush hour traffic" of which I speak is not very heavy at all. I mean, it's Rt 17...it only gets really bad at Christmas and even that's nothing compared to your basic, everyday traffic in a big city.

**Yeah, total coincidence that both vehicles of note were Explorers...must've been a Ford kind of day.

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