The Perils of Baby Talk and Other Public Service Announcements

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed some things in my normal, everyday dealings that have left me either annoyed as all hell or scratching my head in bewilderment. Here are just a few examples of the nonsense I see on a daily basis:

1) Parents, please for the love of the god I don't believe in, STOP SPEAKING TO YOUR KIDS IN BABY TALK AFTER AGE 6 MONTHS!!!!!! If you don't, you'll end up having a kid with a completely avoidable speech impediment because you thought it was just so cutesy-wootsey to talky-walky like thissy-wissy. Here's a thought: If your kid is 8 years old, he shouldn't sound like he's 3.

2) There is no such thing as a size 24W skinny-fit jean, no matter what the tag might say. Embrace your curves, big girls, wear clothing that fits properly and dress to IMPRESS!!!

3) On a similar note: There is a very specific body type that looks good in a very high-waisted pant and that body type typically isn't over a size 4.

4) Ladies, please stop hovering over the toilet in public restrooms, especially if you have absolutely no intention of cleaning up the mess you will inevitably leave because women simply weren't built to pee while standing. The seat liners are there for a reason...USE THEM!

5) Seasonal business owners, if your business is not open until July 21, please either remove the sign displaying your business hours (implying the business is indeed open) or add a sign indicating when those business hours take effect. With gas prices as high as they are, help people save themselves the extra trip.

6) Another one to parents: If you want little Johnny to end up getting scraped off the grill of some gas-guzzling SUV, by all means, continue to let him play on his bike in the middle of the street. On the other hand, if you'd like him to see his 10th birthday and eventually reach adulthood, tell him that rush hour traffic is NOT the place for him to pretend he's a BMX star.

And finally:

7) If you're not friends with someone on a personal, non-business level, DO NOT ASK HIM OR HER PERSONAL QUESTIONS YOU HAVE NO RIGHT OR BUSINESS ASKING. Crossing boundaries is NOT cool.

This concludes today's PSA presentation. Thanks so much for reading.

Thought of the Day

OK, today I received the new issue of Glamour (which I never read and didn't subscribe to, yet somehow get issues every month) and I have to say I hate the cover. I mean seriously, Christina Aguilera's hair looks like the product of a six-year-old's foray into the glamorous and exciting world of Play Doh barber shop hair styling. Neither the color, nor the texture of her hair on that cover occur anywhere in the natural world. I just don't understand...her face looks beautiful, her clothes are casual but classy, yet her hair appears to know the intimate details of all the bleaches available at the local Sally Beauty Supply. I'd like to tell her stylist to back off the peroxide or else I'll cite him/her for follicular homicide. That's all.

Cutness

The world's cutest nephews, Anthony and Noah, looking intently at whatever was on the television. I miss them so much and wish that I could see them every day. They are growing up way too fast and I would love it if they would stay this little for just a bit longer. Too bad they don't seem to want to oblige their dear Aunt Manda and instead they just keep growing and getting bigger. I suppose, though, no matter how big they get, they'll always be my little noodles.