The Perils of Baby Talk and Other Public Service Announcements

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed some things in my normal, everyday dealings that have left me either annoyed as all hell or scratching my head in bewilderment. Here are just a few examples of the nonsense I see on a daily basis:

1) Parents, please for the love of the god I don't believe in, STOP SPEAKING TO YOUR KIDS IN BABY TALK AFTER AGE 6 MONTHS!!!!!! If you don't, you'll end up having a kid with a completely avoidable speech impediment because you thought it was just so cutesy-wootsey to talky-walky like thissy-wissy. Here's a thought: If your kid is 8 years old, he shouldn't sound like he's 3.

2) There is no such thing as a size 24W skinny-fit jean, no matter what the tag might say. Embrace your curves, big girls, wear clothing that fits properly and dress to IMPRESS!!!

3) On a similar note: There is a very specific body type that looks good in a very high-waisted pant and that body type typically isn't over a size 4.

4) Ladies, please stop hovering over the toilet in public restrooms, especially if you have absolutely no intention of cleaning up the mess you will inevitably leave because women simply weren't built to pee while standing. The seat liners are there for a reason...USE THEM!

5) Seasonal business owners, if your business is not open until July 21, please either remove the sign displaying your business hours (implying the business is indeed open) or add a sign indicating when those business hours take effect. With gas prices as high as they are, help people save themselves the extra trip.

6) Another one to parents: If you want little Johnny to end up getting scraped off the grill of some gas-guzzling SUV, by all means, continue to let him play on his bike in the middle of the street. On the other hand, if you'd like him to see his 10th birthday and eventually reach adulthood, tell him that rush hour traffic is NOT the place for him to pretend he's a BMX star.

And finally:

7) If you're not friends with someone on a personal, non-business level, DO NOT ASK HIM OR HER PERSONAL QUESTIONS YOU HAVE NO RIGHT OR BUSINESS ASKING. Crossing boundaries is NOT cool.

This concludes today's PSA presentation. Thanks so much for reading.