Thursday, March 16, 2006

Full Moon Insanity

I was feeling pretty good about stuff for the last few days until yesterday. I started feeling much self-doubt and anxiety, more in the dark hours than in the daytime. I looked up at the sky last night (and tonight for that matter) and saw that the moon was waxing more to the full stage of its cycle. I pointed it out to Doc and I said, "Hey, maybe that's why I'm feeling funky and such." He agreed that I may be on to something since the moon does some weird stuff to people. And he should know, since he used to work in the loony bin and saw the crazies get even worse during the full moon. He gave the impression that one wouldn't even have to go outside to look at the sky because they'd know just by seeing how schizo the schizos got at that time. For me, things just get very anxious and I start over-analyzing more than I normally do, which leads to more anxiety and tons and tons of guilt and self-doubt and more guilt for feeling all the doubt. I lose much of my confidence and my sense of perspective. It sucks, plain and simple. I guess I should count myself lucky, though; the full moon only makes me more neurotic. It could be worse. I mean, I could've been one of those people who go totally batshit-crazy when that silvery saucer makes its way around every month. I'm thinking that I got the lesser of two evils.

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